Nasty Jokes, adult humor & reasons to drink!
Various things not to say when in bed.....
- 1. But everybody looks funny naked!
- 2. You woke me up for that?
- 3. Did I mention the video camera?
- 4. Do you smell something burning?
- 6. Try breathing through your nose
- 8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
- 10. But whipped cream makes me break out...
- 13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
- 14. Do you accept Visa?
- 15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
- 16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights
- 17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
- 20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober.
- 21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
- 22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
- 23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
- 28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
- 29. I want a baby!
- 30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
- 31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
- 32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth.
- 33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
- 34. I think you have it on backwards.
- 35. When is this supposed to feel good?
- 36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
- 37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
- 38. Is that blood on the headboard?
- 39. Did I remember to take my pill?
- 40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
- 42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
- 43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!...
- 46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.....
- 47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
- 49. This would be more fun with a few more people.
- 50. You're almost as good as my ex!
- 51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
- 53. You look younger than you feel.
- 56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
- 57. Now I know why he/she dumped you.
- 58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
- 60. What tampon?
- 62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
- 63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
- 65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
- 66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
- 67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
- 69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?
- 74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
- 75. Does this count as a date?
- 76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
- 78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
- 80. When would you like to meet my parents?
- 89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
- 90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
- 92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
- 93. So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
- 94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
- 95. Is this a sin too?
- 96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
- 97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
- 98. Long kisses clog my sinuses.
- 99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise.
- 100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
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Isn't it a shame that God gave men both a brain and a penis,
but not enough blood to run both at the same time!