Nasty Jokes, adult humor & medical wisdom from the surgical operating theater!

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Nasty jokes & the medical profession seem to go hand in hand... Well, as long as the joke is on someone else and in a magazine like Hustler. An incompetent is just as funny in the examining room or the operating theater or in malpractice court. Surgery is a particularily fun topic for generating humor. remember any of these lines from the movies?

Unusual bytes of nasty jokes wisdom.

Various things not to say
when performing surgery.....

  • 1] Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • 2] Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
  • 3] Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • 4] Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.
  • 5] Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  • 6] Rats, there go the lights again...
  • 7] Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.
  • 8] Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • 9] Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off!

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  • 10] What's this doing here?
  • 11] That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!
  • 12] I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
  • 13] Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • 14] Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  • 15] OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • 16] Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • 17] Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • 18] She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
  • 19] Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  • 20] Nurse, get me a fresh beer.

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