Barjokes 101 pt_6
Bar patrons - who are they?
Remember these for those special times........

A parrot walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Do you have any crackers?" The bartender says, "No, I don't", and the parrot leaves. The next day, the same parrot walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any crackers?" The bartender says, "I told you yesterday, I don't." And the parrot leaves. The next day, the parrot walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any crackers?" The bartender says, "Look. I told you yesterday and the day before that. I don't have any crackers. I didn't have any crackers yesterday, I don't have any today, and I'm not going to have any tomorrow." And the parrot leaves. The next day, the parrot walks into the bar and asks the bartender, 'Do you have any crackers?" The bartender gets very angry. "I don't have any crackers! If you come in here and ask me again, I'm going to nail your feet to the bar!!" And the parrot leaves. The next day, the parrot walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No." So, the parrot then says, "Do you have any crackers?"

...A guy walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and says; "I've been working on a top-secret project on molecular genetics for the past five years and I've just got to talk to someone about it." The bartender says; "Wait a minute. Before we talk about that, just answer me a few questions...When a deer defecates, why does it come out like little pellets?" The guy didn't know that. The bartender then asks, "Why is it that when a dog poops, it lands on the ground and looks like a coiled rope?" The guy again says, "I don't have any idea." The bartender then says, "You don't know shit! and you want to talk about molecular genetics?"


...A girl walks into a bar with a duck under her arm: The barman says " What are you doing in here with that pig?" Girl replies "That's not a pig it's a duck" Barman "I was talking to the duck!"

...A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey, Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a Panda! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

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