Jokes 101 pt_10
You've got balls!
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers who had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.
"What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given 2 pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"
The first soldier said, "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!"
"Very good son," the General replied. "That's 70 inches, which comes to 140 pounds."
Not to be outdone, the second soldier said, "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"
"Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds."
It was the third soldier's turn. "The tip of me dick to me balls, sahr!"
"That's a strange request, but drop your trousers, son!" The general begins the measurement. "My god, son, where are your balls?"
"Falkland Island, sahr!!"
There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. A stewardess was collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the ramp, he opened his coat and exposed himself.
The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub."
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